


Heroism is for Idiots

by thevillageofbree



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Bad Jokes, F/M, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 15:38:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4268826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevillageofbree/pseuds/thevillageofbree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being their hero was becoming tiresome. Sure, she didn't wish anything bad on the people of Pandora, she was just sick of being the only person doing anything to help. Maya/Handsome Jack</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heroism is for Idiots

Maya didn’t know what she was doing. Well, she knew what she was doing, but she didn’t know what in the world had caused her to actually go ahead with it. She was tired of being a hero, to say the least. That was something she never thought she’d feel, but the restriction of being the savoir of Pandora (or whatever they thought she was) was getting painful. She’d come to Pandora to escape restriction and to learn more about her abilities but all that happened was she was restricted in a different light and she didn’t really learn anything. She was more powerful, yes, her phaselock was crazy awesome, yes, but she still didn’t understand it. Meeting Lilith seemed like it was going to be her saving grace, another Siren to show her the ropes, to tell her what this power meant. She hadn’t had time to ask her a single question though. Save Roland, Protect Sanctuary, Deal with my cult following, blahblahblah. Maya wanted answers, she was getting sick of helping other people and never getting anything in return, yeah, she got guns and cash, but she never got a smile, or a hug, honestly, she never even got a friend. She considered the Crimson Raiders her friends, but they weren’t really, she was excluded, they’d send her out on some suicide mission and she’d come back to find them laughing and sharing inside jokes, it was becoming tiresome. Being their hero was becoming tiresome. Sure, she didn’t wish anything bad on the people of Pandora, she was just sick of being the only person doing anything to help. There were four beings who had consistently given her attention, who had sought her out instead of the other way around. The first was Claptrap, fuck was he annoying, but he was certainly very friendly. The second was Moxxi, she never left her bar to seek Maya out, but she’d always call her over if she came in, offer advice, tell a story. Moxxi just liked to talk, no missions, nothing, she just liked to talk and Maya loved that. The third was Angel, there was certainly something off about the AI and she also liked sending Maya off to do heroic duties, but she was always smiling, she was helpful, she seemed to care. 

The last person was who lead Maya to making possibly the stupidest decision of her life. Handsome Jack, the biggest douche on Pandora. She’d never met him, but oh boy did he talk to her, he talked to her more than anyone else on this wretched planet. Maya knew that it was because he was toying with her, because he was planning on killing her eventually, but fuck she loved listening to him talk, she felt terrible about how much she awaited his calls when he was doing such horrible stuff to innocent people, but she loved snark. Snark was what lead her to dating Axton awhile back, before he up and left her for dead with the rest of her so-called team, that relationship was rocky at best, Axton was a nice guy, sure, but Maya had a sneaking suspicion that he loved his turret more than he loved her. She hadn’t been with a man since Axton and that was a long time ago, no time for flings when you’re constantly covered in bandit blood and Bullymong guts. It had gotten to the point where even Scooter seemed like a reasonable partner, Christ, she never wanted that to happen. She’d flung a few double-entendres his way recently; he hadn’t picked up on any of them. 

That was what lead her to the vault in Roland’s hideout. She’d stashed all her weapons in there, even her shield, everything. 

“Maya, this isn’t a wise idea.” Angel said, her voice coming in through Maya’s ECHO device. The siren sighed. 

“I know.” 

“They’ll kill you, you need to take at least one gun with you.” 

“If I’m armed they’ll see me as a threat.” 

“You are a threat. They’ll kill you anyway.” 

“I know. Just tell me where he is.” Maya said, closing the vault shut and walking towards the nearest fast travel station.

Angel sighed, “He’s probably somewhere in Opportunity, you’ll have to get yourself captured, that’s the only way you’ll be able to see him.” 

“Thank you.” Maya said, then she dematerialised. 

*** 

The siren groaned in pain when she appeared at the foot of the city. Fast travelling never failed to make her feel ill, but that’s the price you pay for such a convenient transport system. Opportunity loomed before her, both literally and figuratively. She hadn’t told anyone where she was going, (save for Angel) but was sure they could survive without her for at least a day. It was only when she walked into the city and was greeted with a giant bronze statue of her sworn enemy that she began to realise the stupidity of her decision. Her heart was racing in her chest and the rapid flow of blood through her system caused the blue patterns on her left side to glow obnoxiously, she took a deep breath in an attempt to make the light dim. What was her plan? Walk right in there with her hands raised, hoping Jack would rather capture her than kill her? It was a stupid plan, but it was really all she had. When she reached the centre of Opportunity, a wide selection of Jack’s lackeys surrounded her from every direction, some human, others robot. Every one of them had a gun or some other weapon raised, Maya took a deep breath and held her hands in the air, a pathetic surrender. 

“If it’s any consolation,” Angel began, “I hope you survive this.” 

Maya couldn’t help but laugh, “Yeah, me too.” 

One of the combat engineers took a step towards her, “What do you want, Vault Hunter?” 

“Don’t shoot, I’m unarmed.” She began, her voice shaky, “I want to speak to Handsome Jack.” 

A malicious laugh made its way through the crowd of people who wanted her dead, “Then we’ll just take you to him, wont we?” The same combat engineer said. 

The siren was quickly picked up and tossed to a GUN Loader, she dangled loosely between its two metal appendages. At least thirty guns were pointed at her as she was carried towards where ever Jack was, she didn’t dare make any sudden moves. 

“Good news.” Angel said, “I can confirm that they are taking you to Jack and not certain death. What he’ll decide to do with you, I have no idea. This was your choice, friend.” 

“And what a stupid choice it was.” Maya muttered, quiet enough that only Angel could hear. 

She was quickly dumped on the floor of a large, dark room. The lackeys laughed. 

“Hey, Boss. Look what we found.” An engineer said before slamming the door shut. Maya sat in the darkness, the metal ground was cold, but more comfortable that the loader’s arms. After a moment of silence, the lights turned on and Maya shielded her eyes, a voice drifted over from the other side of the room. 

“How funny to see you here, Pumpkin. Come to surrender?” 

Maya shuddered, he was standing right there and she knew it, regret spilled over her like icy water. This was such a bad idea. She forced herself to look up at him and immediately wished she didn’t. She wanted him to be ugly, with every fibre of her being, because if he was she could convince herself to leave, to phaselock the bastard and get out of there. She wanted so badly for Handsome Jack to be an ironic name and nothing else, but it wasn’t. Fuck, she really didn’t want him to be this good looking. He had good features, his face was sharp, his hair was thick, clean and very well styled, his eyes were mismatched, but that was somehow more stunning than it could have been otherwise. It took a while for her to notice the mask; it fit his face so well and moved perfectly with every expression he made that it could have just been an extra skin. Looking at him almost burned. 

“I came to talk.” She said, trying her best to avoid eye contact. 

Jack laughed, “Yeah, sure. Look, just because my piss for brains team out there is stupid enough to fall for that doesn’t mean I am. Thanks for making killing you easier.” He raised a pistol and pointed it in between Maya’s eyes, “It’s been fun.” 

Before she had time to think about the consequences of what she was about to do, Maya’s left arm shot out and she had Handsome Jack phaselocked, hovering just above the ground. His gun clattered on the metal floor and the siren rose to her feet. She swiped up the gun and tossed it over her shoulder. 

“I really hope you don’t have any more of those, or I will be royally fucked once I let you back down again. Let it be known that I could leave you up there until I run out of energy and run back to Sanctuary, but I’m not going to, I’m going to let you down because I want to talk to you.” 

Maya disengaged the phaselock before she could change her mind and watched Jack fall to the ground; he managed to land on his feet. He seemed calm, but the siren knew he was very angry with her. 

“Who sent you? One of your Crimson Raider buddies? That damn robot?” 

Maya stared him down, making sure he didn’t make for the gun, “No one sent me. I’m unarmed; I left all my weapons back in Sanctuary.” 

“How very trusting of you.” Jack said with a dangerously attractive half smirk. 

“I’m only here for one reason, I’ll be gone by tomorrow and we can go back to whatever we had going on before. I just need a break from all this heroism bullshit.” Maya said,   
trying her hardest to maintain a steady tone, despite the tingling she was beginning to feel throughout her whole body. She finally managed to take in her surroundings, from what she could see it appeared she’d been dumped in Handsome Jack’s private office. He evidentially also slept in there, judging by the large bed at the far end of the room, positioned in front of a giant television. There was a giant window in the wall to her left that had been closed with metallic shutters, it probably gave the CEO a view of all of Opportunity. 

Jack sauntered towards Maya, a hand running through his thick hair. He was about a head taller than her and he smelt good, Maya almost had to hold her breath to avoid breathing in his scent, “If you are planning to trick me, Vault Hunter, that’s pretty cute. You should know I’m not so easily deceived, Maya.” 

Oh fuck, he knew her name. Maya had no idea he knew her name, he’d never said it before, she assumed he’d never gone to the effort of finding it out. She could feel her arms shaking, although, the more she thought about it, the more appropriate the word quivering became. The siren couldn’t bring herself to speak, Jack was standing so close, they were almost nose to nose and he had that fucking smirk plastered on his damn face. He was toying with her, Maya knew he was toying with her, any second now he’d reach for the gun and blow her brains out. It was at this point when she remembered why she was here and decided that if she didn’t make a move now she never would and would probably end up dead. 

“What are you thinking, Maya!” Angel said, luckily Jack couldn’t hear her. 

Maya sighed and whispered back, “Something very stupid.” 

Before she could stop and think about the consequences of what she was about to do, Maya had a hand on either side of Jack’s face and she pulled his lips down to hers. It wasn’t a gentle kiss, she crushed him to her and they both threatened to topple over. She really began to regret it the second she pulled away, she was probably going to die, in retrospect though, that was pretty hot. 

Jack didn’t seem angry, in fact, he was smirking again, “Heroes don’t fuck villains, Pumpkin.” He said slowly, his voice drove Maya insane. 

“Heroism is for idiots.” 

Then Jack’s lips were on her again, this time though his firm arms were wrapped around her waist and she snaked hers around his shoulders. Maya had to bite back a moan when his tongue brushed her lips, fuck, he really knew what he was doing. The siren opened her mouth to him and he pushed her up against the nearest wall, he was a lot stronger than he seemed. She tangled her hands in his thick hair and a deep moan escaped his lips. Maya’s heart dropped to her toes and she felt a deep ache between her thighs, his voice was the biggest turn on, her legs were threatening to fail her, were it not for the wall behind her and Jack’s slim body pressed up against her she would have fallen over. That was when Handsome Jack’s hips bucked into hers, she was sure he was doing that on purpose, the first time she managed to ignore it, but with the second time a whimper leapt from her lips, it felt amazing. 

“Having fun, Vault Hunter?” Jack crooned into Maya’s ear before firmly pressing his lips against the slope of her neck. Words completely escaped her. Jack laughed against her neck and the warmth of his breath send shivers down her spine, “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

When his hips ground into hers again, Maya couldn’t hold her moans. It took some effort, but she managed to speak, “If we’re going to keep doing this, I’m going to need to lie down.” 

Handsome Jack chuckled and lifted Maya up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. He had a firm grip on her ass and it was hot, “No stamina in the bedroom, Maya? That would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.” 

He carried her over to the bed, regardless. Maya laughed, “Stamina, I have plenty of.” 

When her back made contact with the soft mattress, Jack placed himself in-between her legs and his hand made its way up to her right breast, “Looks like I am literally lighting up your life.” He said, laughing slightly at his own joke. 

Maya frowned and noticed the glowing tattoos on the left side of her body, “Shut up.” 

He smirked and bucked his hips into hers, obviously having realised that this was an easy way to render her speechless, “Make me.” 

The siren raised an eyebrow and pushed Jack off her before straddling his waist, “On it.” 

She placed a firm kiss on his lips before making her way down his neck, making quick work of his shirt and tossing it off to the side, her lips making their way down his torso all the while. He wasn’t incredibly muscular, but his body was delicious. It wasn’t long before she had reached the waistband of his trousers. Maya took a quick glace up at his face and noticed he was breathing heavily and his eyes were squeezed shut, she chuckled slightly before undoing his belt and throwing it away, the buttons on his trousers where handled quickly after and she began palming his cock through his underwear. A deep groan came from Jack’s mouth and Maya smirked before pulling his underwear down enough for his cock to spring free. Axton was bigger, but Maya honestly wasn’t fussed. She ran her tongue from base to tip and felt a sick sense of accomplishment every time Jack moaned. One of his hands latched onto the back of her head, pushing her mouth down over his cock, she didn’t mind. The siren only gave Jack head for a minute before he pushed her down on the bed again, his lustful expression looming over her. 

“You’re wearing too many clothes.” He said quickly, his voice breathy and incredibly sexy. 

Maya couldn’t help but grin, “I agree.”

He managed to make quick work of her combat gear and in seconds she was lying before him in nothing but plain white panties and her most comfortable sports bra. She groaned internally and made quick note to wear sexier lingerie next time this happened, if there was a next time, she might very well be dead before then. The CEO unfastened Maya’s bra and threw it away, breathlessly latching his mouth onto her right nipple and grabbing her left breast with his hand. Maya gasped and dove her hands into his hair; his tongue lightly grazed her and her breath hitched. Jack managed to kick his pants off without ever releasing either of the siren’s breasts, without repositioning himself at all, Jack’s eyes locked with Maya’s and his right hand started moving down her stomach and into her panties. Maya cried out when his thumb began running circles around her clit. Fuck. 

“Get off.” She exclaimed, it was curt and could possibly get her killed, but Jack seemed rather content with the current status-quo and didn’t seem to be planning any murder. 

Maya pulled off her panties as quickly as she could before lying back down again, “Now, come back.” 

Jack crushed his lips to hers and his index finger dove inside her while his thumb continued its ministrations. Maya moaned loudly as her tongue danced with his, she reached out a hand, grabbed his cock and started pumping. Jack added a second finger and Maya felt she was going to explode. 

“Fuck me.” She whispered, “Now.” 

Jack smirked, “Happy to oblige.” 

Then Handsome Jack thrust himself inside Maya and her breath caught in her throat, it had been awhile, so it ached pretty badly, but after Jack’s third or fourth thrust the pain ebbed away and was replaced with absolute pleasure. Jack was muttering to himself, words that Maya couldn’t make out between breathy moans. His voice was still the biggest turn on she could imagine. She wrapped her arms around his torso and raked her nails down his naked back. His warm skin felt so good against hers and the way he pounded into her elicited so many moans from both of them. Maya could feel she was close, her toes began to curl and everything was warm. It was Jack moaning her name that threw her over the edge. 

“Fuck…” She moaned and Jack finished a few seconds afterwards, immediately rolling off her and laying on the other side of the bed. 

“That was fun.” He said breathlessly, that arrogant smirk plastered on his face again, “I’ll still have to kill you later though, you know that right? No get out of jail free card here. Or I suppose I should call it a get out of death free card.” He laughed at his own joke rather loudly and Maya chuckled along. 

Heroism is for idiots, because heroes don’t fuck villains.


End file.
